Giving your broken life to God

Becoming born again is a term that is widely used in the world of christianity. What Jesus said in the book of John is the reason why this principle is often used to describe the main event in a believer’s life.

Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. – John 3:3

In this passage there are two terms used that have been discussed for centuries. The Kingdom of God and the principle of being born again have everything to do with the mystery of Christ in you, the hope of glory along with the main message that we proclaim:

This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. – 1 John 1:5 whom God would make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory: – Colossians 1:27

While I was hitchhiking back to my home in the Netherlands I got picked up by a Dutch truck driver. He was a very gentle man and he was quite open for what I had to share with him about God. He honoured me with a listening ear for about one and a half hour. He had been going to a Dutch reformed church for over five years and it really made him loose his faith. I thank God that I was  brought  into his life in order to share some of the true gospel of peace. What is, in fact, good news.

While telling this man about the mystery of being ‘saved’ I realized that there is a very distinct place in our life where we can actually realize if we really are saved. It is sometimes hard for me to understand how people who do not have the Holy Spirit, struggle to see and experience God. In the following couple paragraphs I will try to explain what dawned on me while sharing the gospel with this truck driver. Here it comes:

While many cultures have all kinds of ways to ‘please God’ the only way we can truly please Him is by giving Him all that we are, so that He will be able to form us into whatever He likes. But in order for us to give ourselves over, we need to have a deep assurance that we are completely safe in His hands.

Imagine being harshly condemned after opening your heart to somebody! Imagine that you are being put into a place where you will be, as to say, turned ‘inside out’. This will surely lead to severe fear, because you’re not as perfect as you actually think you are. You are broken and hopeless, but afraid to face it because even your own heart does not accept yourself as you now are.

This is evident in every human being. There is no exception. We all need somebody to work on us and give us a pure assurance of forgiveness. This will make us actually free to face ourselves with the confidence that whatever imperfection we find in ourselves is in fact ‘work in progress’.

Actually, now we know that there is somebody who can deal with it and make it ‘glorious’, or: ‘having eternal quality’, because He has been through all of this himself.

If you have read the above, you can understand now what it means to know ‘Christ in you, the hope of glory’. This knowledge actually gives you the complete freedom to stand in a place of light, where you really can be turned inside out without being ashamed. To make it more clear, think about this: If you want to really know if somebody is trustworthy, and see if he does what he says, won’t you first give him a little bit of what is yours to see what he does with it? Now imagine that person making what you give to him into something that is perfect, won’t you give more and more of what is yours to him, knowing increasingly that whatever that person does you can’t copy?

This, in fact, is the message of God being light, having no darkness in Him at all. When you give your broken life into His hands, He will start to work on it and bring that to perfection. While He fixing your life, you will see and experience deeply, how mighty and loving He truly is. This is what Jesus meant with ‘seeing the Kingdom of God’.

To experience the Kingdom of God, and to really know God as He is, you will have to give Him your broken life. Only after you did so, your understanding about Him will be enlightened and you’ll get a personal testimony of His special work in your life. I hope you also understand that doing merely ‘good deeds’ will never ever, get you to know who God truly is. That is what secular religion tries to teach us, but it simply won’t work! In order to do ‘good’ you first have to get to know the one that is truly good. This goodness is only fathomable by letting Him enter into the deepest areas of your precious life. From there on, you’ll do His goodness that is revealed in you. – this is truly GOOD!

By knowing, believing, and doing the words of Jesus, we now can know for sure that our Creator is still a loving God who accepts us as we are, having the ability to solve everything we can’t solve by ourselves and afterwards even having the capability to lift us up to rule with Him. This he proved by dying on the cross, not only to us but also to every other power that misuses our broken hearts. Let’s begin to surrender our lives more and more to this wonderful Lord we have. Let’s start a new life that is rooted in His work and not in our own goodness. Let’s be truly born again.

Work on your Vineyard

While reading the book of Watchman Nee called ‘the Song of Songs’, I stumbled upon a very interesting passage in which I think that a lot of (young) believers would find comfort. Here it comes:

Let us get up early to the vineyards (Song of Songs 7:12a)

“..Here she draws attention not to her own personal vineyard but to a plurality of vineyards beyond herself. Her concern and burden are now extended to many works of the Lord. In the beginning of any service for the Lord, believers must learn not to yield to the temptation of working in too many vineyards, but, rather, to cultivate one’s own vineyard. Remember the loved maiden’s lament in her own immaturity: “They made me the keeper of the vineyards; but my own vineyard I have not kept” (1:16).”

“But now she has been brought to spiritual maturity through caring for, and giving attention to, the development of the ground in her own life.”

Realization of true Unification

The world is seeking unification, trying to bring singularity into perfection. This ‘Christ-consciousness’ as many will tell, makes us live in peace and also in harmony with nature. – For we as humanity are one, and all are family in the very end, each of us having his part in a single universal consciousness.

As we all know, by common sense, every consciousness comes with a personification that resembles it. How astounding will the day be when finally, after the cleansing of our vision, we eventually shall see Jesus as the One in whom we all share our lives. How beautiful will this perception of our destiny be, and how great the full knowledge about His love.

And how unbearable and harsh will His words be, when He tells you:
‘Who are you? I never knew you.’

Believe in Him, and get to know Him personally before that moment when you will realize that all you once desired was all in vain because it has no eternal value.

His own words:
“Not every one that said to me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that does the will of my Father which is in heaven.”
“And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which sees the Son, and believes on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day.”

Choose Him, and don’t care about how the rest of the world will think about you. All their glory, their honor and their respect is worth nothing compared to knowing the very heart of the One who made you so beautiful, and full of purpose. He will help you to shine, and whatever you will try to workout – He will be there supporting you for He holds the future.

Medical Facts About Speaking In Tongues – Carl R. Peterson, M.D

The following article is just.. stunning.

Being Part of the New Covenant

Dear Friends,

First a caveat, I am not a Charismatic but I am fortunate to recieve the gift of tongues even without anyone laying his or her hands on me.

Secondly, this note is not only for people who do not believe in the gift of tongues but those who don’t understand why God would give such a gift as his first gift to the church and whether is it relevant today.

I ask that you read it with an open mind. My intention is to bring praise to God for such a gift and pray that those of you who have recieve such a gift use it for His glory. To those who do not think it is relevant- think again. To those who has it but do not use it – Use it. To those who abuse it – Speak with understanding. Grace and peace to you.


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The logic of sin and its spokesmen

How do you, a sinner, imperfect fellow, dare to say you have the right to be the thing where everything moves about? How can you claim this position of importance, a standing in the middle of the wheel, as if creation itself will find it’s worth through you?

How can this thing that perishes, the one dependent thing, rely on your unstable intentions? How dare you judge without being of eternal quality, and say that all can’t be without you?

Listen, if you want to live forever you’ll need to have eternal quality – having no fault. Thus being able to withstand the process of being judged about your worth of standing in the place of courtship, being part of the Perfect Standard.

Only one Man has the right to claim this position, the One who was proved of being of Eternal quality, the One who was perfectly stable and now is praised for His trustfulness. Listen to Him, for only His judgment is righteous. Make Him your standard and you’ll see that you will grow in importance by denying yours.

Valley of Comfort

Once I heard Him speak so clearly
a voice of tender spoken whisper
for my stance never to flee.

Not since I met that shiny pearl
as if He burned for me a treasure,
but now stunned in the painful whirl
of losing her precious measure.

He still will teach me more of His
taking my heart through darkened paths,
by comforting with a tender kiss
all the burning scars of sharpened darts.

I will press through this empty season
and surely once again
flourish in a healthy reason
to never stop where I began.

Some spiritual principles

There are times when I’m being conscious of certain spiritual truths. Last time I sat down in order to write an article, I could not and was more guided into writing down simple principles that in my opinion can help you to tune into trust of God. I’ve not brought any scripture with them so if you think that a couple of them are not complete or even completely wrong, please let me know! I would love to talk about it, so that both of us can grow into a broader understanding.

  • When you stop working, and start resting, you will see how the Father is moving in your life.
  • Keep yourself in His love and He will reward you with prosperity and honour in a wisdom that is not known to the world.
  • He knows exactly where you go through, every situation in your life that requires higher commitment to Him is found in experiencing unfamiliar realms of foolish apprehension.
  • As disciples and people who are filled with Gods glory, we are used to our state of being and quickly forget the influence we have. This is also to prevent us from elevating ourselves above His name.
  • People who come into your life are set on a certain emotional state when they commune with you, it is important for you to keep yourself in the love of the Father.
  • To pray is to change. It is a proof of character, it builds you up. Your life is never the same after a minute of prayer. It is getting out of the circle of life; it is reflection and commitment, a drawing closer to the One who is All in all. It will bring Gods glory into your life, because He will come and eat with you. Both of you are enjoying communion together and enjoying life as it is meant to be.
  • Act seemingly reckless, and when there is danger your senses shall react and you will change your direction if your action is for God’s glory and into His direction.
  • Your heart can only grow rightly in an atmosphere of peace, for fulfilled desire is a tree of life. Peace brings satisfaction and that brings thankfulness.
  • When a seed is planted and given water by men it is nourished by God who gives growth.
  • Superficial commitment cannot help you to get rid of your fears.
  • Intuition makes use of your vision.

earthmagnetic field 

More principles:

  • All of you heart’s desires are fulfilled in Jesus.
  • It is impossible for two people who are earnestly seeking God to miss their mark when God draws both of them together.
  • Every part you give God in His hands will fall under His control; your perseverance is a proof of the faithful commitment that you trust His work in you. This work is known as revealing the weakness in you and the apprehension of His greatness in Christ.
  • Attention is made pure and consecrated when there is suffering and a change of focus.
  • Without faith it is impossible to please God, those who move in situations of risk, have to believe that God is there to help and sustain them, instead of trusting their own ability and wisdom.
  • Letting go, the principle of forgiveness, is a sign of your trust in Him.
  • A steady and pure conscience allows you to make mistakes and approves your improvements, yet bugs you when something is not right.


He provides, His grace sustains.

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior”
– ‘Oceans’ by Hillsong

There is a saying to describe a Russian man, and that is that ‘He cannot do without problems, and even when there are none, he’ll do his best to make some.’ I found it very true in my life to be always searching for new challenges. So this summer I packed my backpack again and hit the road with no money and with just some food to survive for a couple days. In this way I’m collecting experiences of how God provides and what His way of dealing is in times of peril.

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This trip began with me having quite a struggle on the idea of taking my younger brother along with me. In my opinion he was not yet ready to dive into such an adventure. We eventually got all organized and he took some money along with him, which was a good thing because it helped us to have more food on the road. My peanut butter was enough for me, but bread was a thing that would vanish quickly.

We hitchhiked all the way to the Serbian boundary, and I was hoping to go through without my passport but I had to find out that it was not possible. So be went hitchhiking back through the countryside of Hungary, meanwhile I was trying to make new plans of where to go because the main mission was to go to Bulgaria and have some driving lessons over there. I prayed that God would close doors and open those that where possible to realize in this trip, and that actually happened because all the people of Help Exchange turned down my requests of staying at their place and work for a few days. Same thing with the people from Couchsurfing, so I had to trust God in providing places to stay.

So after a few days of camping outside it was getting too much for my brother and he decided to go home. We still managed to visit the Balaton lake in Hungary and after that we went back through Vienna. In that time we did not had any money left anymore and I prayed for the Lord to specifically provide about thirty euros in order for me to survive until I got my salary the next week, because my brother would leave to go home by himself.

When we reached Vienna two people (Gunther and Oscar) had brought us to a youth hostel and bought a place to sleep for us, which was a great blessing to both of us. We could see the city at night and have a good talk with each other while doing so. The most interesting part to me is that they also gave me exactly thirty euros! This was a very strong encouragement for me to continue my travel and collect more of such experiences.


So while in Vienna, the next day my mission was to visit a church (it was Sunday already) and afterwards to guide my brother to get his first ride back home to the Netherlands. After the first service of that church which is called the ‘International Christian Fellowship’ I met a young lady named Lisa and she could host me for two days! That night I slept at her place and the next day I went into Vienna to prepare for my next trip on the day following. That night we had a Bible study and I was with Thomas, another man staying there, in the middle of about 10 sisters. After the study we prayed for Thomas because he had a ministry of a psychotherapist and also one of the sisters got healed after praying for her back. It was a great evening and one of them also blessed me with some money to go on.

The next day I left to Ljubljana, the capital city of Slovenia, which really is a beautiful country with wonderful mountains and forests. Maybe on some occasion in the future I will go back there. While in Ljubljana I could stay at a friend’s place and meet with Clemen, a man who wrote a book with my testimony in it. The book’s name is ‘Life without enthusiasm is like sex without orgasm.’ It was a nice experience to meet that writer because he loves to talk about different philosophic themes and we had some great time talking with each other.

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So after spending time in that beautiful city I choose to go to Italy, with no plans or without any particular reason to visit somebody. After a very long hitchhiking trip, wherein on some occasions I was waiting for about six hours on gas stations, I managed to come into Rome. I was quite nervous because I had booked no hostel, neither knew any people who lived in the city. The day turned into night very quickly and after having a long conversation with God, reading psalms and almost being robbed by lurking immigrants from Syria, my prayers were answered when I met a man on the streets whose name was Murat and who came from Morocco. He invited me over to sleep at his place and I could spend my night in a warm house on a soft mattress!

The following day I visited a church service in the evening, it was Saturday and there again I could find somebody at whose place I could spend some nights. This brother whose name is Maxwell inspired me very much because of his testimony, and I could spend some nice time talking with him and we eventually got together with a group of his friends to evangelise that Sunday. It was a great time with a lot to think about, and of course a beautiful city, nature and weather all the time to praise God for!

After Rome I hitchhiked to a small touristic city in Italy to visit the sea, it was beautiful and I met Andy there, a Baptist who experienced much of Gods favor in getting a job. It was encouraging to hear his testimony and have a talk with him. The hitchhiking itself was great, it was super warm and almost no cars on the roads so I had to prove my patience and perseverance once again. Meanwhile I could meet dozens of wonderful people.

2014-08-24 19.32.23

While passing through Switzerland on my way back home a man named Bean invited me to sleep at his place. I found it funny that he already called his wife Verona before asking me if I wanted to and they settled with the fact that I would come. It was funny that there was a storm that night so if I would sleep in my tent I probably could have a hard time, so God was merciful and showed me His great protection and care! Also, I had a chance to evangelize to Mark, the son of that man who seemed to me like he was struggling in pursuing his dreams.

On my way back I also met a couple who were Pentecostals and I had a very good prayer time with them, it was super encouraging to meet them and I hope of doing so once again someday before going to heaven! When I almost reached home, a Dutch couple dropped me off at the train station on my own request. I felt led that I needed to continue hitchhiking, but because I thought of having my student card with me, I could take the train instead and it would be for free anyway. After reaching for my wallet to check-in, I found out of having not taken my student card with me and that was a moment of great discouragement and a awful moment of dealing with my own stupidity. So with that experience as the last one I could end my little adventure by acknowledging God’s grace and wisdom higher than my ability to obey and accomplish.


When I started the trip I asked the Lord to reveal me more of what His grace is, and to learn me thoroughly just to believe and receive that grace. There are a lot of things which happened and made me look differently at myself, my life, and others as well. When hitchhiking I get to show much interest in the lives of others and this gives me a boost in having an altruistic attitude towards the people I meet and in my conversations with them. I have learned very much from this two-week adventure through Europe, and it made me stronger to face a new set of troubles in the next year of study in Almere! All for the Glory of God who hears and answers our requests and provides for all our needs in His wonderful and unique way!

“Without faith it is impossible to please God.” – Hebrews 11

My testimony [part 2] – Misled zeal

After having moved to the home of my best friend at that time, my life changed tremendously. In that same year I would go to high school. My first couple years in high school were good, I had a very nice reputation among other students and had many friends. I lived for two years in this foster family, and slowly I became somewhat spoiled because they were quite well in their finances. My heart was grown very stony and I did not recognize that I was not loving the people who cared for me so much.


After about two years in high school I started to chase a girl and because I was hurt deeply in my heart, my zeal to find a source of love was very steadfast and furious. I started to write poems and really devoting my life and thoughts to pursue her. I even choose my study direction in order to just be close to her. In that time I also started to smoke, and just to satisfy my curiosity there was a time of smoking a bit of pot.

When my mom came back from Russia, I took the chance to break free from any authority and hide myself in the shed of our old house, that became the hideout for our group of friends. After a while my foster parents couldn’t handle me anymore and told me that I was not thankful and did not know anything about love, so they send me back to my mother to live there. At that time our group really began to pollute our whole village with our foolish behavior – we used drugs, smoked, drank a lot and invited many other youth from the surrounding towns to the shed in my backyard.

It eventually went so far that we broke all the windows in the elementary school in our town and stole some chairs and a coffee machine. This had drawn a lot of police in town and our group of about thirteen to sixteen people was forced to work on a farm and swipe donkey poo.

After a year or so my life changed drastically. My mom’s house was taken from her because of a huge debt and we became homeless. It was then that she contacted the church again, in order to seek for a place to sleep. We moved to Amsterdam and after living there for a couple months I was taken by the police from that place in order to live in a crisis youth facility under the supervision of youth care institution.

It was then that my real struggle began, I started to use drugs more and more and eventually I was sucked up in some weird condition of paranoia and schizophrenia. – It was not that bad that I was diagnosed with it officially, but it had an impact on the way I behaved at school and with people in general. It was after three months that I was set in a more steady department, from there it took just more than half a year till I could live on my own – but still supervised by youth care.

It was my second life as I saw it, it was like my youth was split in two because I moved away from my old neighborhood and started to have a new group of friends around me – this time they were in a more worse living than me and most of them were on drugs also, this included the use of pills, powder and grass. I got into it and that led to psychotic attacks which made me eventually weak and torn up.
Then once upon a night after going out it went wrong again and the people at youth care were forced to kick me out of their supervision and provision because it was too often that I came back bleeding from a fight or breaking some regular houserules they had, like inviting friends to chill in too often.

This was the second time I felt as if I lost all, because I was moved to another place to live with my mom, who had found a new husband and was pregnant. In that season of my life I began to seek God more seriously  – I was reading the Bible while I was using drugs before; mostly the book of Proverbs. My pregnant mom, her husband Dmitri and I lived altogether in a room with two mattresses and a television, that room was not bigger than 10m2. Those months really destroyed much in me and without Gods grace I wouldn’t ever come out of that condition. I felt so bad, depressed, and alone.

I could never imagine how able God would be to safe me, give my dignity back, and send me out into the world to battle my fears and be a disciple of Him.

Be Lifted

Longing for the higher state,
not recognizing that while in err,
My mind keeps me in hate.

Wisdom either longs for me, shouting with a tender voice. Still crying, of what I must lose to be.

A clue for understanding everlasting joy is that higher logic always seems foolish for the one who is depending on a lower logic.

Being in a state of realizating that your present state of being is not helping you to be overflowing with happiness and joy makes you also become aware of the fact that you need to obtain a better understanding of reality as it is, or you may satisfy your longing by enjoying some temporary satisfaction.

The secret in having peace, is in putting all your desire in something that is going to be there for ever. The more you are loving this, the more you will find satisfaction and joy in it without having to satisfy anything in the material – always being contend.

This what we love is Jesus, a person. Truth can only be a person, because real peace only comes by friendship – we as human beings can only be satisfied with that what is like us. This is why Buddha acknowledged of not having found peace as it should be. He did not know truth as being a person who loved him.

Going to a higher state of being, is in reality getting to know Jesus Christ who is now in heaven with God and in God – so when we go towards understanding God, our Creator, we see Jesus Christ and we can draw love from His Eternal Source, knowing that we are loved by what He did on the cross – dying for us. This knowledge sets us free and is thus proclaimed as the GOSPEL, the GOOD NEWS of Jesus Christ.

We may be lifted up by Him, by understanding His love for us.