Heart of darkness

They speak a language on the heights
Like the sound of silence, or a blinding brightness
But not a hymn nor sound nor cry
Not but a kiss names the God of heaven
So I seek that inner flame to know that kindness
And to see that goodness
And like keys my deepest pains
Unlock the heavens, though I am ragged from them

Lyrics from ‘Heart of Darkness by Benjamin James’


Fatal Vitality

Who is the strongest man on earth? This man has beaten death and this man has the power to overcome all obstacles that are on his path. He walks in a power that is not of this earth. For his hope is not on things of this world. This is the man who is totally secure about his existence in the after-life.

Behold – the power of those who are righteous by faith. Those trusting the good news of Jesus Christ.

Salvation is heard

Christianity stands out in its message of grace; how can somebody believe himself out of the endless search for eternity inside a definite cycle of nature without hearing an affirmation of what he’s looking for, existing intentionally for him?

Nobody can have hope without knowing about light.
Nobody can have a relationship without perceiving intention.

Even so, we can’t live eternally without being enlightened about the fact that whatever brought us into existence, loves us to the core of our being. Salvation is receptiveness of the same, though it’s impossible to be saved without knowing there’s something to receive.

Wisdom and her looks

How far does wisdom see, is it truly the time for me to insist and persisting to make known that I am not cheap in just existing?

I’ve been broken but still I’m struck within myself. This cage of lies seems to be never ending, everytime I think I’m there another glance of darkness abounds and surrounds my mind. It makes me wonder whether my past is worth the walk while relative experiences of others make me bluntly worthless, how expression may be a tool to define yourself into glory!

Again I see that hearts can’t be measured, it’s the one choice that knows its time to explain whatever. That simply does what it wills, not minding the freedom of judgment passing through the fields of remembrance. It’s impossible, yet a honor to many, attaining wholeness by catching fire that burns the untrue away from the throne. Your past won’t be the wall in between you and glory, it’s the story you tell about the fame for which you fell- it’ll testify to your death, pride will shame you at the last breath you’ve taken in becoming forsaken acquiring nothing but hay, straw that burns away.

How can I fathom more than I can see, understand the essence of eternal sunshine in all that surrounds me? To really be keen on what I say is harder than flowing along the quiet tide of the sea. The havoc of betrayal, splendor of trust wasted, a greyness too deep without color- like a dream unreal to your fate. This man though will stand firm watching his own vision not to go bad, the fruit that ripened not given away but cared for dearly, just to eventually say and name a reason for justice prevailing in an expected treason of his future hopes.

Will the joy of my now worried heart be blewn to a height not reachable? Is there a venue of hope I can tread on when all seems to crumble, and I consider to be humble and right in what to let go? I want to soak back into myself, to enjoy the present and neglecting foreshadowed alarms of a future abandoned.

Thought He promised, thought He spoke to me, now because of my worry I failed. Failed again to see her fly in elegance, in all kindness landing softly on the shoulders of another. I’m declaring; even now, I’m free.

Comfort defined

I want to sit here all night and to write the things coming up in me about myself and the life I’m involved in. I’ve been going back and forth, still having to move on with my responsible attainment of all the conversations planned to happen.

While the future is sealed up in mysteries, riddles and puzzles, the cleaning of my heart will make me see the right alignment of events. Knowing God and His plans shall make me free from vain regrets of passions not attained, ambitions not fed and all what I once dearly chose to become will not condemn anymore.

Because of this, knowing the impurity of my inner dwellings, the blurry perception on divinity, dreaming starts to be hard and having a vision, faithless. Maybe I need help for this? It could be that one’s lack of sight can help the other lead. Knowing weakness in another makes a strength to be seen by the perceiver who lacks self-knowledge to confess its own faults before the humble one in front of him.

True encouragement is denying your power, to accelerate the same in others. For what is known as lacking will be made to a purpose in providing. Vacuum has to be filled with air, water flows with gravity pulling it. So in the same way our souls will function when emptiness makes room for unattained passion, comforted by a direction known to the meek wielder of a hope deeper than experience.

Here I Stand

Here I stand, look at me

Just a normal dude, with a normal life, having a past of considering myself special with a special calling to fulfil a special mission. What a boy, still to become a man, though trapped in a labyrinth of vanity and lacking charity I so desperately seek in having sense of purpose. Life is tense with no proper chance, so would you mind listening a bit for this thing I try to teach may hit, I learned.

I won’t rip you off, but encourage you to walk the walk and live your talk. Now back down and slack away from empty pleasures, measures of egoistic leisure’s that you are trapped in, still watching others glory over your ability to construct a unique personal story. Horror fills me when I think about what’s coming, feeling helpless to abide in peace while society is getting down on its knees to please, don’t freeze while trying to get up for life’s a mother of lies if you don’t believe and make yourself loose of all ties.

Nobody knows your mind so keep it strict to watch till you catch and conceive a vision for the helpless who have less than is in your wallet, a mess to call it. why are you so puffed up doing nothing but peculiar boring heart whoring. You want to shine your puffed up brain in vain? All you get is another chain, praises of men like rain on scarlet blazers of those who are nothing than foolish money chasers; drop it, leave it, don’t sit but run from the pit, you’ll have to be sober and enter this Red October, dive deeper when the hill’s you climb so wounded get steeper.

You’ll be betrayed like we all, we fall, are small, strayed from home roaming the globe of illustrative fantasies and hidden though frail mysteries, fool- watch the bees; work hard, don’t play the joker as a wild card. Forget what’s behind ‘coz you’re blind, helpless and weak, well that’s how you tend to speak. Am I right? Aren’t you running from the fight, so far from Gods sight? Conscience won’t play tricks nor will you find any comfort with all those chicks, pricks; men deceive and leave so focus and don’t rely on hocus pocus, for your wounds bleed- take heed.

Producing your dream on the mainstream while eternal duties scream, what’s your answer? Sink and think about to hinder the one who’s pulling you down downtown. Secrets of purpose lay behind all the wicked fuss, deep down the valley of humility, denial of me, myself and I; so why to waste time and be shy? be bold, strong and hold on to all that’s opposing wrong consolation, vain relation to empty opinions of people’s frustration.

Don’t you already know that this is all but a big soap show and you’re trying to sit closer, mister composer, try rather to disclose her who tempts and does adulterous work in careful attempts to deceive and leave the future child in its hopeless fatherless grief.

Can I offer a meek solution to escape all this worldly pollution? Believe, see and hear the goodness of all who fear the one that looks down your heart to make you free indeed, guaranteed that when you enter secret isolation eternal consolation will ripen your brave core and without sore He’ll even bless you with more to eventually load into the cloud, melodies to sing out loud, while you’re being purified of all wrongs you shamefully concealed in words breathed through iron lungs.

Originality will find you through hardship, character formed by achieving victory, relieving; while standing your place with all those who’re believing- this mysterious and glorious chase of truth is in prevailing through righteous wailing, stirs you alive to move on and hold fast till He comes at last.

Living trueness

The amateur is an egotist. He takes the material of his personal pain and uses it to draw attention to himself. He creates a “life,” a “character,” a “personality.”

The artist and the professional, on the other hand, have turned a corner in their minds. They have succeeded in stepping back from themselves. They have grown so bored with themselves and so sick of their petty bullshit that they can manipulate those elements the way HazMat technician handles weapons-grade plutonium.

They manipulate them for the good of others. What were once their shadow symphonies become real symphonies. The color and drama that were once outside now move inside.

.. What we once thought was real- “the world,” including its epicenter, ourselves- turns out to be only a shadow. What once seemed to be only a dream becomes, now, the reality of our lives.

An excerpt from Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield

Strategies for spiritual boredom.

The following is a blog entry posted on 43:10.

Recently, I felt bored and stressed.  Nothing extraordinary you might say, but I was bored and stressed in conversation with God.  Talking with God; the almighty, the creator of the universe, the all-glorious and all-beautiful one; I was bored and stressed.

To me, one of the most convincing arguments for the reality of an accessible God is His intervention in human consciousness through prayer.  Famously, agricultural scientist George Washington Carver (1864-1943) asked God for ‘the mystery of a peanut’, and subsequently derived over 300 different patents from this unassuming beer accompaniment.  Prayer is very real.  At the centre of my faith is a God who is limitlessly powerful and consistently unpredictable, whose words and ideas are thrilling to the human spirit. To me, spiritual boredom is unacceptable; it is obtuse, unbelieving and even stupid.  And yet, there I was.

In the midst of this place of boredom and stress, God spoke to me like He sometimes does, by showing me an image in my mind’s eye.  I saw myself like a little child kneeling over something I was holding in my hands and I was clearly frustrated by it, like it was a toy I was trying to fix, and I saw my Father standing over me wanting to help me but He couldn’t seem to get my attention while I was so engrossed in my own task.  I realised that the object I was holding in my hands was prayer itself.  God was showing me that I was trying to do prayer with my own agenda and my own understanding of what the results should be.  My eyes were fixed down when they should have been looking up to my Father. I had missed the vision of heaven. God wanted to talk to me about cities and nations while I was fixated with a comparatively petty prayer list of practical concerns for the following weeks and months.

Much of the Christian Church is in this position.  ‘Strategy’, ‘model’ and ‘agenda’ have become Christian buzzwords that make us feel professional, but increasingly seem to betray a heart that is departing from the Lord.  We have become very good at ideas, but I’m not sure how much we are truly growing in the heart of God.  Jesus said it would be those who ‘abide’ in Him who would bear much fruit.  But are our goals His goals, and is our vision His vision?  Are they even becoming more united?  Too often it seems that the goals of Christian organizations and churches are about increasing ‘web hits’ and ‘likes’ on a facebook page, rather than the transformation of culture by the Word of God; the salvation of souls and renewing of minds.  The calling of a Christian was never to be ‘liked’.  We are called into fellowship with Jesus (1 Corinthians 1:9)

While we are counting how many likes, shares and comments were achieved on our social media feeds in the last week, and how many heads there were in our Sunday services, 37.5 million babies were aborted globally so far in the past year alone.  There are 36 million trafficked in an exploding global slave trade. The number of displaced persons has reached around 60 million.  The USA, still the world’s most prominent ‘Christian nation’, ranks among the the top ten ‘most divorced’ nations with a rate of 53% of marriages (the UK is not far behind with 47%, and 6 of the other top ten nations are from western Europe).  Over 200 million Christians around the world are denied fundamental human rights because of their faith according to the World Evangelical Alliance, and 322 Christians are killed for their faith every month (Open Doors).  Israel, God’s chosen nation through whom He communicated all of the scripture and whom He has restored to their land as promised repeatedly in the Prophets, is reviled and mocked globally and is condemned by the UNHRC more times than all other nations combined including North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Burma, Libya, Syria etc… etc…  According to Psalm 149, God’s people are called to ‘execute judgement’ in the place of prayer and praise.  Matthew 18:18 says that we are given authority in prayer to bind everything that disagrees with heaven.  In Luke 18:6-8, Jesus promises that God will ‘speedily’ answer those who cry out to Him for justice.

So seriously, there are bigger fish to fry.

When Jesus, the commander of heaven’s armies, met Joshua on the plain of Jericho, He did not come to hear Joshua’s plan to conquer the city.  He came to give Joshua His strategy for victory.

And it came to pass, when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, a Man stood opposite him with His sword drawn in His hand. And Joshua went to Him and said to Him, “Are You for us or for our adversaries?” So He said, “No, but as Commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.” (Joshua 5:13-14, NKJV)

Jesus’ strategy was bizarre.  He says to Joshua (paraphrase…), ‘I want you to walk round Jericho once every day for six days, then the next day I want you to walk around it 7 times and afterwards get the priests to blow trumpets.’  Jesus’ plan sounds crazy, but obedience in fellowship with Him releases supernatural power to break down the strongholds of the enemy.  The walls of Jericho fell down flat.

It is much easier for us to create comfortable human strategies than to walk in fellowship with Jesus, but it is so much more boring and exhausting.  If Joshua had been offended by Jesus’ strategy for victory, the alternative would probably have been a very protracted and potentially costly process of siege warfare.  God had a miraculous solution available, if Joshua was willing to walk in fellowship with Him.  God doesn’t want us to go through the pain of our own plans and strategies!  He wants to release miraculous solutions to us in our jobs, relationships and in building His kingdom but these strategies will never come from human intelligence and are often offensive. [Emphasis by editor]

In a very similar instruction, but a very different need, in 2 Kings 5 God asked Naaman the Syrian through the prophet Elisha to wash in the Jordan river 7 times for his healing.  Naaman became offended at God’s plan.  He didn’t want to wash in an Israeli river.  He thought that the Syrian rivers should be good enough for him.  But that wasn’t what God said, and he wouldn’t have been healed if he had washed in a Syrian river.

God already has a strategy for global revival at which a large proportion of the body of Christ are offended because it involves the nation of Israel, and politics has clouded a lot of vision on the subject.  Like Naaman, they do not accept Israel’s strategic place in God’s purposes, even though His Word is absolutely clear.  Romans 11:11 states that a core purpose of the gospel coming to the gentiles was in order to provoke Israel to jealousy for their own Messiah.  A remarkable statement and an element of God’s global purpose that is completely ignored by large sections of the Body of Christ, and sidelined by others.

There are now endless ‘mission strategies’ available in Christian media.  There are new methods of outreach produced on seemingly a daily basis and yet God says He wants to bring ‘life from the dead’ for the whole world (or global revival) through the Israel’s acceptance of their own Messiah (Romans 11:15).  God’s response to the cry of His Church for global revival is Isaiah 62:

I have set watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem;
They shall never hold their peace day or night.
You who make mention of the Lord, do not keep silent,
And give Him no rest till He establishes
And till He makes Jerusalem a praise in the earth. (Isaiah 62:6-7, NKJV)

God is calling out for watchmen who will embrace His purposes for the world, and agree with His agenda and His strategy.  He is looking for men and women who will lay down their lives in the place of prayer and allow Him to move through their lives in remarkable and supernatural ways.  He longs to find men and women who will embrace His heart for the nations, no matter how offensive it is to them personally.  He longs for those who will let His priorities become theirs, so much so that they become the burning cry of their hearts, day and night.

It is a mystery, and it looks like foolishness, but God has chosen to release healing to the world through an Israeli river!  God is going to set up His throne in Jerusalem and a river is going to flow out from His throne that will turn bitter waters into sweet.  Trees will grow on the banks of that river that will be for the ‘healing of the nations’ (Revelation 22:2).  Israel is not the only element in God’s plan for global revival, but it is a central element in His ultimate divine solution and the Church will witness a supernatural revival in its prayer life and a dramatic increase in fruitfulness when it embraces its role in intercession over Jerusalem and Israel.

As you read this, I pray that a fire might be kindled in your heart to let God draw you into an encounter with the Commander of the heaven’s armies, and that you might find divine strategies for your life and for nations as you walk in fellowship with Him.


Be the constant stream of solution

“Favor is transferred through proximity.” – Lance Wallnau
Compare with: “If they receive you, they receive me” – Jesus Christ

A single point of contact, like the shaking of hands can already open an atmosphere where divine solution can be inspired. Working on your conscious acknowledgement of provision in every situation, will in the first place give you peace and also make you pass on any favor that follows you.

Worrying will trouble your spirit and will subject you to any proclamation made in unfamiliar gatherings. The less you worry, the more you reign and add to the divine provision of excellent work-out of any problem, all through sudden inspiration.

So wherever you go with Christ, things are fixed and ideas flow, just by your presence. Calibrate your heart on the Spirit of God and give (emotional, intellectual and spiritual) reason to this focus so that your feelings, thoughts and wills are submissive to this stream of love.

Alison Quairoli of Flemington, Brady Niederer of Lamberville, George Agalias of Hopewell, Barry Abramowitz of Lawrenceville, Jan Baldwin of Pennington, Vanessa Oates of Hopewell and N. Charles Leeder of Ewing.

A quick note: Who is Jesus?

Recently I had a dream in which I saw another young man, that I discipled years ago. He had come to the Lord in a very pure way and was a passionate follower of Jesus. In the dream he represented the current generation of young christians. He said very proud that he was able to transport himself in the spirit to Paris. I asked him who Jesus was for him at this moment. He answered:

‘Jesus is the representation of the fourth dimension. Thanks to Jesus we can now enter the supernatural!’

I told him Jesus is first of all the Son of God who came to die as the Lamb of God for our sins. The moment I said this, the young man lost his ability to transport himself to Paris.

God gave me this dream, to show me another danger of the current generation. Some don’t hear the message of turning from sin, and think Jesus is just the door to supernatural experiences and other cool stuff. But that is not what it’s about. As the Holy Spirit told me:

‘Go to the core of the matter…’ The heart of the problem of mankind is… sin. Sin separates us from God.

‘Everyone has sinned and is far away from God’s saving presence. But by the free gift of God’s grace all are put right with him through Christ Jesus, who sets them free.’ (Romans 3:23)

Excerpt from http://www.godisreal.today/false-christ/